Another week gone by

I planned it out - it was perfect. I was going to write last week and get it done before I had to start worrying over this week's assignment and next week's test. But the life happened. I've gotten so out of the habit - of both writing and taking classes - that I'm a damn mess. The difficulty of the class isn't what's getting to me. Oh no - that's not the problem. Sure, it's a lot of reading and when I do the work, I like to make sure it's what I consider good work. This means my notes are too detailed and my answers are too researched for my TA to appropriately respond. I guess that's where I'm feeling the struggle. I feel that the response I'm being given is either highly authoritarian or too narrow.

On top of all of that, I got my husband's hope up that I would work on the writing project that he and I are working on together now and so I've neglected another story for a community that I write in for another week. I'm hoping to get a chapter out (for the first time in much much longer than I'd like to admit) for that community after I get my assignment done today. I'll give myself a day's break from studying to get that done. Then it's back to the grindstone and studying for the first test (which I'm positive will be much easier than the one I'm preparing for in my head).

Oh the stress. I need to remember how to let it go.

What's keeping you from doing the writing you want to be doing?

With New Vigor

As we get close to June and close to two full weeks without any real regular posting, I feel that it's time to get back going. I've started sleeping on a more regular schedule and my husband is even getting me to start exercising regularly again, so no more slacking. The goal is going to be posting 3-4 (maybe even 5!) times a week, getting some literary stuff as well as some ranting in. 


I'll also try to do a few free writes a week on Sans Serif. That space is still free for anyone who wants to guest post there. :)


I had been working on the 30 Days of World Building while I was in Hong Kong, but that also dropped off a bit as packing, traveling, and recovering took over. I may or may not start a site/link/set of posts for all that information.


It's good to be back. 

Birthday Post

I suppose that I should do a birthday post. It's a bit hot and sticky here and I'm trying to pack up my life to take back to the states with me. It's one of those days in which I keep feeling like I've forgotten something.  Not very birthday-like. 


On the other hand, my husband is taking me to lunch at a Mexican restaurant (a rarity in Hong Kong, I assure you). Plus we've got ice cream and wine. It should be a good day.


The next time I post (in which I hope to have something literary to put here), I'll be back in the States.


And a special thanks to Gabriel over at Angelspeak for all of the lit crit and things you've been giving me to think about. :)

Getting My Write On and Proud of It

This week's RemembeRED was to write about something that you're proud of.


I've got to say, the things that I've done on this blog - my little bits of writing and art - are things I am proud of. 


In college, I had an abusive boyfriend that I stuck with for way too long. I developed severe depression and went almost two years before I sought any professional help (which didn't really help, but there you are). I had always been a writer, just as I had always been a reader. I really started coming into some better poetry just as I got into college, but then the depression and the suppressing of emotions and experiences. It was all I could do to hang on for the ride.


Needless to say, my writing dried up. Even when I tried to use it as a creative and therapeutic outlet, nothing came. I used to joke with my (genius, novel-writing) roommate that I had the longest bout of writer's block in the history of man: four years. 


It hasn't been until recently that I've found my way back to writing. Two years ago, I started kicking around an idea for a novel, but nothing much has come of it - a little world building and some random notes and doodles. It wasn't until March, after reading the writing/literary blog of a friend of mine that I started really pushing myself to write and express. I may have started the ball rolling a few months earlier, but pushing myself to write everyday and post to the blog a few times a week has really gotten me expressing in a way I haven't in years. Not only that, but it's taken me back to a way of seeing the world that I haven't in a long time. It's nice to start to see things with an artist's eye again. Pushing to express and finding new creativity where I suspected that it might have dried up forever is something I am proud of. I am proud to have pushed and found myself capable of getting there again. 


Fruits of my labors:
Found in the Sea off Cape Artemision, ca. 1920
Thai Fare
Vapid Aphrodite
Heaven Bent
Orphic Mission

Vapid Aphrodite

A post I got to via lovelinks, by Patricia over at Contemplating Happiness about people watching pushed me over the edge this morning. I went on one of the most lovely Easter Sunday walks to a zoological/botanical garden this year and along the way I picked up (in my writer's mind) a woman, whom I've charmingly named the "Vapid Aphrodite". 

Vapid Aphrodite

We walked through the gardens with spring all abloom

Our fingers meeting in between camera captures, lovely

and bright, the flowers, cranes and flamingos strutting

their best jeweled plumage in the afternoon warmth

We hold the camera at arms’ length, heads together

faces smiling with a light that is not all from above

A sheer mist from the fountain cools our faces, frenzies

of children splash and give chase in the delight

The clicking of another camera comes to our ears

from a fellow being directed by a tall and fair woman

She presents an orange-flowered tree for the camera

as a showcase showgirl presenting her latest wares

The sun illuminates her sun-bleached mop, her lips

too pink, painted as though she could be done up better,

Nature’s beauty undone, she holds her lover’s smile

too long, telling tales of perspiration and aching feet

The corners of her mouth fall with the camera lens,

gone until the photographer glances back up grinning

He leans in for her lips, but she presents a rouged cheek,

looking determinedly for her next ware to showcase.

Comments welcome.  :)

Conference Killer - A rough poem

I was recently at a philosophy conference, when a poem struck me. After listening to one gloriously presented lecture, a second lecturer took the spotlight. Well... the rest is in the poem.


Conference Killer

The battlefield set - pitting academic against academic

In a conference, competition: who will win the day?

One skillful warrior completes his task,

the crowd eager to continue the fight

A second must be given his chance

awkwardly he sits reading, his notes becoming crumpled

as he foams at the mouth with excitement

not stopping to wipe away the spittle,

weapon wildly wielded: the mind has learned, the tongue has not

slurring well thought words with a foreign sound

Inertia gone, the crows loses interest

their eyes roaming the room like prowling cats

avoiding mutual acknowledgement of boredom

others politely look attentive, leaning forward in their seats

willing themselves to not be revealed, a yawn giving them away

Few have the endurance to outlast the incomprehensible

the lecturer surfaces from his berserking on the field

the sole survivor in the slaughter of interest

Yes, I know it's rough, but I'm having a hard time moving on it. And I'm not kidding about the spittle. The second stanza is almost reporting. Of course, so is the third. Anyways. There is some writing for the day.