Another prompt from the P&W list...

So this is another writing prompt from Angelspeak (the link in my post on Thursday). I'm going to warn you, it's the first prompt of the year and it's a long post, so if you want to skip the writing process (which I can completely understand), then read the prompt, note the poem I picked and the skip to the final product at the bottom. Here we go:

“Choose a favorite poem written by somebody else, type a copy of it, delete every other line from the poem, and write your own lines to replace those you’ve deleted. Next, delete the remaining lines from the old poem so that only your lines remain. Read what you have, and revise it, adding new lines to fill in the gaps.”

I know why the caged bird sings by Maya Angelou
A free bird leaps on the back
Of the wind and floats downstream
Till the current ends and dips his wing
In the orange suns rays
And dares to claim the sky.

But a BIRD that stalks down his narrow cage
Can seldom see through his bars of rage
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
Of things unknown but longed for still
And his tune is heard on the distant hill for
The caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
And the trade winds soft through
The sighing trees
And the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright
Lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged BIRD stands on the grave of dreams
His shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with
A fearful trill of things unknown
But longed for still and his
Tune is heard on the distant hill
For the caged bird sings of freedom.

--
Remove every other line and replace them with your own: 

A free bird leaps on the back
of the oceans’ waves, till the crashing starts
Till the current ends and dips his wing
He stretches wings and opens his throat
And dares to claim the sky.

But a BIRD that stalks down his narrow cage
playing actor to the passerby, begs for scraps
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
their eyes pity his slow trudging ways

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
repeating the comforting lies to himself
And his tune is heard on the distant hill for
the pitying acquaintance, head shaking

The free bird thinks of another breeze
from a past lost to all but his memory
The sighing trees [of a summer night past]
sough for him again with the rushing grassy
Lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged BIRD stands on the grave of dreams
settling to night’s nest without hope for change
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
bound by lies accepted as truths

The caged bird sings with
the crackling voice of dreams long dead and past long gone
But longed for still and his
tears shed are only for himself
For the caged bird sings of freedom.

--
Remove the remaining original lines and replace them with your own: (I decided to stick with the bird imagery, since we have wings and nesting)

The salt and pepper pelican wings along the crests
of the oceans’ waves, till the crashing starts
another chance at a meal has passed him by
He awkwardly stretches wings ashore and opens his throat
and calls for mother to provide chance again.

The sooty tern paces his cage, five steps left and five right
playing actor to the passerby, begs for scraps
and the freedom of months at sea, but
their eyes pity his slow trudging ways

Our grayscale friend gobbles dinner on the shore,
repeating the comforting lies to himself
of the freedom each avian feels
the pitying acquaintance, head shaking

The tern relives the waves on a breeze
from a past lost to all but his memory
the call of the ocean crashing on shore, liveoaks
sough for him again with the rushing [of] grassy
dunes, once merely the bedding of youthful rendezvous

alone he turns to stale sea oats
settling to night’s nest without hope for change
with chains around his feet, he is equally
bound by lies accepted as truths

The tern too opens his throat
the crackling voice of dreams long dead and past long gone
and of those who in freedom fetter themselves, his
tears shed are only for himself
as he calls to the skies for freedom.

--
As a third part, I’ve revised it to make it more coherent. I'm not completely pleased with how it's turned out, but it's a much better draft than anything above. Perhaps I'll continue to rework it:

Salt and pepper, a pelican wings along cresting
Ocean waves until the crashing signals another chance
Another meal has passed him by
Awkwardly he stretches his wings on shore, opening
His pouched throat, Provide the chance again!


The sooty tern paces her cage five steps left, five right
A black and white clown for the passerby, she begs for scraps
And the freedom of months at sea, but their eyes
Amuse and pity her slow continuous trudge


The unfettered grayscale gorges on the shore,
Repeating the comforting lies to himself of the freedom
Each avian feels, while confining himself to sea's edge
His pitiful acquaintance shaking her head


She relives flowing currents above and below
A breeze from a past lost to all but fading memory
The call of the ocean crashing on sore, liveoaks
Sough for her again with the rushing of grassy
Dunes, once merely the bedding of youthful rendezvous


Alone she turns among a corner of stale sea oats
Settling to a nightly nest without hope for change
With chains around her feet, wings clipped,
She has been bound by lies accepted as truths.


The tern too opens her throat, a crackling
Voice of dreams long dead and past long gone
And of those who in freedom fetter themselves,
Her tears shed are only for herself
As she calls to the skies for liberty.